Real Gift Guide For Lawyers

Prison in TexasKnow a lawyer? Like the lawyer? With the holidays upon us scroll past the gavels, scales of justice, and law books, here’s The REAL Gift Guide for Lawyers.

***Gifting Scale (1-5):

  • 5 = Got away with murder
  • 4 = My case was dismissed, but it should have been.
  • 3 = No jail time. Thank you.
  • 2 = I should be out in a year.
  • 1 = I can appeal it, can’t I?

Alcohol Houston Attorney

Rating: 3
Cost: N/A

Duh. Any bottle will do.You can go a step further and gift a yearly prescription of Wine or Spirits delivered straight to your lawyer’s office door.

Spanish Attorney Houston

Waverly PilotTranslating Headphones
Rating: 5
Cost: $199.

Légitime. That’s legit in French and is exactly what these headphones are. With the ability to translate five different languages, your alibi can be tested in English, Spanish, French, Italian, and Portuguese. These can be pre-ordered now and delivered May 2017. Next fall languages such as Chinese, Japanese, and German will be integrated.

Houston Courtroom ButtonBullsh*t Button
Rating: 2 1/2
Cost: $8.95

Anyone can drown out a bullsh*t with a sneeze, but not everyone can push a button that screams it. “Your Honor, I object, [press bullsh*t button].

Lawyer beats

Wireless Headphones
Rating: 3
Cost: $17 – $399

Put your lawyer in the zone with these Bluetooth operated wireless headphones providing precision sound without all the mess. Sit back and relax as your lawyer delivers a memorable closing argument to the tune of Thunderstruck.

Lawyer SelfieHover Camera Passport
Rating: 5
Cost: $599:

Lawyers love them some lawyers. This selfie stick on steroids connects to your smart-phone and hovers over you while simultaneously capturing epic aerial footage. Look at me now!

Hoverboard for attorneysSwagtron T1 Hover Board
Rating: 5
Cost: $349

Remember when lawyers walked to the courthouse? Not anymore. Give the gift of swag in the form of the Swagtron T1 Hover Board, known in the hovering community as the best value on the market. An added bonus, if you dislike your attorney, there is a chance the thing blows up.

bulletproof lawyersBulletBlocker Bulletproof Executive Briefcase
Rating: 4
Cost: $299

Who doesn’t want a lawyer with bulletproof accessories? This briefcase houses bulletproof lining and is guaranteed to keep your case file secure. Not sold yet? Doubling as a bulletproof shield it is guaranteed to keep you and your legal team safe.

Houston female defense lawyer

Bullet Blocker Bulletproof Leather Tote
Rating: 4
Cost: $369.99

For the bada$$ female trial lawyer.

Fit Bits and Houston Criminal Defense AttorneyFitbit:
Rating: 3
Cost: $59.99 – $249.99

Is your lawyer a fitness fanatic? If not, should they be? Give them a subtle hint in the form of a fitness-tracking device capable of reporting such things as heartbeat, calories, and sleeping patterns. Better yet, locate their online username and data to see just how fast their heart beats when their objection is denied.

Nintendo AttorneyMini Nintendo NES Classic Edition
Rating: 3
Cost: $59.99

Depositions and meetings can drag on for hours. Break it up with the Mini Nintendo NES Classic Edition. A slice of heaven pre-programmed with 30 original video games. Excitebike in HD on an over-sized flat screen? Yes, please.

Attorney Spy PenGadgets and Gear Spy Pen
Rating: 3 ½
Cost: $69.95

If it looks like a pen, writes like a pen, then it’s a pen. But this isn’t your ordinary pen, it is equipped with a camera capable of recording high-resolution videos and snapping high-resolution, date and time-stamped pictures. Channel your lawyer’s inner 007.

inkless pen for lawyers
Vat 19 Inkless Pen
Rating: 2 1/2
Cost: #29.95

Nothing like having a game-changing thought with a pen out of ink. Worse is the busted ink pen that finds its way on the lawyer’s sharp outfit. The inkless pen eliminates both problems, so your lawyer has more time to focus on yours.

power bank for the trial lawyerEasy ACC 10,000mAH Ultra-slim Dual USB Power Bank Charger
Rating: 2 1/2
Cost: $17.99

Exciting? No. Invaluable? Yes. This power bank keeps all USB devices charged and ready. With personal portable device use at an all time high, feel confident your attorney will be available 24/7.

Please Don’t Confuse Your Google Search With My Law Google Law FirmDegree Coffee Cup:
Rating: 2
Cost: $13.99

Give your lawyer a daily reminder that he or she is as smart as they believe. Upgrade this gift with a Starbucks gift card, because no one likes sleeping lawyers.

Lawyer Insults and ComebacksInsults and Comebacks For All Occasions:
Rating: 2 1/2
Cost: $7.95

A lawyer without a witty comeback is no lawyer at all. Arm your lawyer with elite weapons of mass insults. “I know you are but what am I?”

Happy shopping and happy holidays.

About Sam Adamo Jr

Sam D. Adamo & Sam C. Adamo are Houston criminal defense attorneys at the Adamo & Adamo Law Firm. Licensed to practice law in 1971, Sam Sr. has maintained a courtside seat fighting the war on crime. He led the special crimes division at the Harris County DA’s Office, before going into private practice in 1975. Over the years he has developed a reputation for high-quality criminal defense against Texas’ toughest crimes. In 2007 Sam Jr., joined the practice forming the latter part of Adamo & Adamo. With his addition, U.S. News & World Report recently honored the law firm as one of the top criminal defense firms in the nation. The full legal team includes paralegals, research professionals, and investigators all committed to providing clients with top flight criminal defense against the never-ending “war on crime.” For additional go to or follow us on twitter @AdamoandAdamo .


  1. Allison Jackson says:

    Isn’t an inkless pen a pencil? 😉